Picking adventures from a hat

For the first 5 weeks of summer, my boys had an assortment of different camps/playdates/activities.  But starting Monday, that's over.  Think of it as "Camp Mom," I told them.  The 5 and 8 year olds groaned.  (Not as loud as I groaned in my head.)

We have 25 more weekdays to go until school stars.  So this afternoon the 3 boys and I sat down and made a list of 25 places we'd like to visit/things we want to do - ranging from the local bowling alley to the  Monterey Aquarium to the Jelly Belly Factory tour.  

Once we agreed on the 25 things, the boys cut up strips of paper and on each strip we wrote one of the activities.  Each evening, before bed, we are going to reach into the hat.  Whatever activity is selected is the activity we will do the next day.  

We may just survive after all.

Here is our list:

1) Alcatraz

2) Sky High Sports (a trampoline place)

3) Pump-It-Up (and inflatable jumpy house place)

4) Safari Run (an indoor jungle gym)

5) SF Zoo

6) Great America

7) Gilroy Gardens (kids amusement park)

8) Beach

9) Playdate with the Hobarts in SF

10) Walk across Golden Gate bridge

11) SF Science Museum

12) San Jose Children's Museum

13) San Francisco Children's Museum

14) Mini Golf/Batting cages

15) Raging Waters water park

16) Bowling

17) Jelly Belly Factory Tour

18) SF Giants game

19) Monterey Aquarium

20) Airplane Museum

21) New park in Palo Alto

22&23) Overnight trip to Tahoe

24) Playdate with Thomases

25).... hmmmm.... we are one short.  Any ideas?

Never talk sex, money, or politics

Ever since Aaron and I started dating seriously (about a month after we met) we sort of combined our finances.  Aaron was a student and I was working so most of the money came from my side.  When we married, we combined our finances completely (both money coming in and our substantial school loan debt).  It seemed very romantic at the time.  We were taking care of each other.  

When I stopped working outside the home (when our first child was born), I had absolutely no difficulty with the fact that I was no longer contributing financially to the family.  It was immediately clear to both Aaron and me that I was working harder than either of us had ever worked before but NOT getting paid for it.  

So that is how we looked at it.  We both had jobs.  They were both equally important.  The paycheck Aaron brought home reflected both of our jobs.  That may sound hokey but we have never once had even one ounce of financial stress between us (we've had financial stress together, but never pitting us against each other).

Every so often I'd hear a friend say something like, "Oh, my husband would never let me buy that" or "I have to hide this so my husband doesn't see that I bought this."  It always struck me as strange and sad.  Aaron and I have always been on the same financial team.  

But last week I was in a car accident.  It was ruled the other driver's fault but the fact remains that it is going to cost us over $1000 to take care of deductibles, etc.  And while it was the other driver's fault, I still feel like if I was really, really paying closer attention I could have avoided it.  I don't know if that is technically true or not, but that's how I feel.

The past few days I have really been feeling down about the fact that the accident is so clearly in the "withdrawal" column of our family's balance sheet and I am not adding anything to the "deposit" column. Even though I made the withdrawal by being in the accident.   I think I am feeling it so much because for that $1000 we get zero benefit.  It's just the cost of being at the wrong place at the wrong time.  Also, we've been really, really trying to hammer away at our school loans, to get them paid off once and for all.  And so that money from the car accident is  taken directly from paying off the loan.  

Hmmm.... I'm not sure exactly where I'm going with this.  It's not as though I feel like I don't contribute to our family, it's just that this is the first time I feel like I've so blatantly been a $$ suck.

I think I am tired and just need a good night's sleep.  

Thought

You know that old saying that God doesn't give you more than you can handle?  My mom says it all the time.  Well, today I am sure that it's not true.  I am seriously thinking that my middle son is more than I can handle.  All I want to do right now is curl up in bed some warm chocolate cookies and cry.

Marriage

I have a blog post brewing in my mind about marriage.  Just thought you should know.

More on clothes

If you are bored by the mundane and superficial topic of clothing, then read no further.  But if, like me, you get strangely excited by weeding out your closet, even if you can't replenish it, and the fantasy of a closet full of clothes that actually fit and look good, then keep reading.  

Today I bribed my neighbor J to come over again to help me further with my wardrobe.  We went through every single item of clothing in my closet and did a three point filtering process:  

1) is it a style that is current (not to be confused with trendy - nothing in my closet is trendy) 

2) is it in good enough shape to wear (minimal fading and pilling, not stretched out) 

3) is it flattering on my body

If the items made it past those 3 tests, we then figured out whether or not I had anything I could wear it with.  If not, to GoodWill it went.  

Finally, we got to the point of figuring out outfits.  FINALLY!  This is where it all came together.  

Here are some things I learned:

1) I cannot wear khaki or white pants with pastels or I look like an ice cream cone of sherbet.  Khaki or white pants go with navy or black tops (maybe with a white tank underneath).

2) If your pants are loose at all, you must wear them with a tight top.  

3) Even if my abs are ever back in rock hard shape (ha!), I cannot, CANNOT tuck.  My waist is way too high.  If I tuck I end up looking like my waist is in my armpits.

4) I don't look good in collared shirts.  Go figure.  Every one we tried on did not make it through step 3 (flattering).  

5) Tank tops in all different fabrics and styles are THE staple of my wardrobe.  99% of the time I wear pants, a tank, and a cardigan sweater of some sort.  

6) Long sleeves should always be worn pushed up a bit above the wrist.  Otherwise my arms look out of proportion.

7) I can pull off feminine.  It looks great on me with dark jeans to give it a little edge.  

8) My best colors on top are navy and white.  I can wear a pewter gray as long as I wear lipstick.  Black is OK but a bit severe for me.  Better to stick to navy.  

9) I can only wear my flowy tops with tight (relatively) jeans.  Otherwise I look preggo.  

10) Necklaces (or lack of) make or break an outfit for me. 

Next step:  try to figure out the accessories piece.  I saw first hand that necklaces make all the difference but I have no idea how to pull it all together.  Also, I don't really have any.  I just have a few that J let me try on of hers to prove a point.  

Also, I am on the hunt for two items during the summer sales:  

1) subdued gold every day sandal that I can wear with everything, every day.  I am trying to hunt this down in my size:

http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WomenBrowse/Women_Shop_By_Category/shoes/flatsandals/PRDOVR~15449/99101743058/15449.jsp

2) Dark wash denim skirt - straight, pencil cut, hitting mid knee.  Can be worn the same as jeans.  My calves are one of my best features.  It's nice to show them off.

Thanks for following along in the fun.  My new prayers at the end of the night are for world peace and for everyone who wants one to have a J in their life to help them look their best.  

A shout out to JTD

In my excitement over the organization of my closet, I forgot to mention that all of the folding of clothes for the shelves was expertly done by my other neighbor, JTD (aka Martha-Stewart-At-Heart).  

The girl knows how to fold clothes.  She often comes over and we chat while I fold laundry and our boys play.  Only she ends up refolding everything I have ever folded because it is not straight enough.  My linen closets and kitchen towel drawers are impeccable because of her.  (I offer to do the same favor for her when the boys play at her house and she is folding laundry, but I am not allowed near her clean clothes).  Every so often my husband will open his t-shirt drawer and say, "JTD was here, huh?" because he knows that even if I spent all day trying, t-shirts that I have folded could not be as beautifully folded as the ones she folds.  

And to top that off, when she was done folding for my closet, she spent 45 minutes on the phone with some Apple tech support guy in India trying to figure out how to get my wireless connection working again.  She has a way with men like I have never seen.  Despite the fact that my AppleCare account is expiring and he should not have talked to her without charging $45, he totally helped her, waited patiently on the phone while she crawled around under my desk looking for wires, and ultimately they got it fixed.  

I love my neighbors.

The Elements of Style

As long as we are talking fashion, J gave me a list of wardrobe essentials that she believes every woman should have.  These are the basics, we should also have a closet full of clothes that reflect our own personal style and that make us feel great about ourselves.  

Here is the list and how I am doing:

1) Black knee length dress (aka LBD) - need a summer style, have a winter style

2) Trench coat - have

3) Black dress pants - have one pair of black cotton capris but I don't think that's what they mean by dress pants

4) Fitted white dress shirt or blouse - need (although you can tell by my wardrobe that I have about 20 white shirts that are styled to hide the dreaded muffin top.  i need to work on the "fitted" part.)

5) Pair of dark wash jeans that you can dress up - have

6) Slim/Pencil skirt (black or khaki) - need

7) Black pant suit - don't think i need this!

8) High heel sandal in a neutral color - have if a soft gold counts

9)  Black high heel pump - have

10) Black loafer or ballet flat - need (how can that be possible??)

11) Structured bag in a classic style that will not go out of style - need (i am guessing that my faux leather brown hobo bag does not count as a classic style that will not go out of style)

Too bad white t-shirts, khaki pants, and merrells don't make the list of wardrobe essentials.  I'd be all set!!  :)

I don't take this too seriously but I do find it fun and very interesting!