Man, am I F-U-C-K-E-D

When will I learn that quiet in my home is not a good thing?

I was taking a shower this morning and everything was seemingly going so well that I decided to go hog wild and shave my legs.  

Next thing I know, Sam (home from school for teacher inservice days) comes running in.  "Mom, come quick!  Ben is cutting up Jack's pokemon cards with the craft scissors!"

I fly out of the shower, run, dripping with shaving cream and conditioner, into the dining room to find that Sam is not playing a cruel joke on me.  Ben is, in fact, cutting up Jack's pokemon cards.  And, as fates would have it, he isn't cutting up the useless, filler cards.  He is cutting up Jack's favorites, the high scoring, hard to get cards.  

I called Aaron, who quickly understood my level of panic.  "Tell me which ones he cut up.  I'll go on ebay right now.  You run to Target and see what you can get."

Thank the Pokemon Gods, Jack is going home with a friend after school which gives us extra time to try to mitigate this disaster, Sam is home to help me make sense of the cards, which ones Jack is going to freak about and which ones need to be replaced pronto.  

AHHHHHHHHHHH!