Thursday, November 13, 2008

I need a little fabulous

With a little encouragement (thanks MER) I have started meditating again.  My meditation is something between saying please, saying thank you, listening, and trying to be silent.  I have joined a group that does it on Wednesday mornings.  Once I brought Ben and he silently did stickers and once my friend (thanks JTD) took him so I could have the hour to myself.  

Yesterday was great because we spent the first half hour talking about how we meditate, what we hope to achieve, different ways to meditate.  And then we moved into silence.  We were in a warm, cozy room and I was sitting right next to the crackling fireplace.  Perfection.

But as I moved into that quiet place, I was beyond irritated because one of the catchy songs from High School Musical was playing over and over and over in my mind.  At first I tried to be gentle with it, as you are supposed to do with these kinds of thoughts when you are meditating.  Then I got annoyed.  Then, I started listening to it.

"I want fabulous
That is my simple request
All things fabulous
Bigger and better and best
I need something inspiring to help me get along
I need a little fabulous - is that so wrong?"

As I went about my day, the song kept coming back into my mind.  Finally, after the boys went to bed, I had one of those light bulb moments.  "Hey!  This is about ME!  I need a little fabulous!!  I want to be fabulous!"

I mean, look, I know I'm already fabulous exactly as I am, blah blah blah.  And I surely know being fabulous isn't about being or having bigger, better, best as the song says.  But the truth is, I haven't felt fabulous in ages.  Have I ever felt fabulous?  

(Wow, I've got a lot of italics going for one blog post.)  

I have to explore what this means.  Is it about presentation?  Is it about a hobby?  A skill?  I don't know what it is, but I want to FEEEEL it.  

Stay tuned. 

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